Slingin' (Dutch) O'Brien's 1996 Predictions

Posted by Slingin'(Dutch) O'Brien on September 21, 1996 at 10:39:59:

I'm awful late gettin' this column wrote this week. We's had some medical problems again. First off I was havin' some severe chest pains after goin 1-6 last week on my picks (13-6 season). I decided to go to the Macarena Dancathon anyway because me and Mrs. Dutch was 2-1 favorites in the Sr. Division. Sure enuff I passed out and I didn't have my nitro with me.

When I woke up some Aggie paramedic was givin' me mouth to mouth resusitation. I reckon it saved my life, but he sure did seem to be enjoin' it.

After I recovered I took Mrs Dutch to the Bob Dole Rally here in Tahoka. We thought it would make him feel young to see us in the crowd (even thouh we's yellow dog Democrats we's open minded this year and besides when a Presidential candidate comes to Tahoka, we pay our respects).

Just as Bob was gettin' on the platform, a railin' gave way and he fell 10 feet down to the ground and landed right on Mrs. Dutch. We buried her yesterday and Bob, you've lost my vote.

In spite of my grief I can't let my faithful reader(s) down. Rest in Peace MaMa.

This Weeks SWC Picks:

Texas 24, Notre Dame 21
Alabama 21, Arkansas 14 -The Tide owe a payback to the Swine from '95
Baylor 35, Oregon State 10 - Couragous schedulin' by the Bears (Neb in 2 weeks, he he )
USC 27, Houston 13 - Last week they kicked the S.O.B. in, this week the S.O.B.s kick them.
KSU 28, Rice 14 - the Owls is better, but they can't beat teams wearin' purple.
Navy 17, SMU 14 - The Middies are smart, at home, and have the son of former Frog Ted Fay at QB. It's too much for the Ponies to overcome.
Texas A&M 52, UNT 17 - As a Christian I realize that the Good Lord makes the rain to fall on the Just and on the Aggies. This week they receive forgivness.
Texas Tech 28, Georgia 24 - semi upset special of the week, I's gonna make the Dawgs prove it to me.
Utah St. 24, Okie A&M 10 - These Aggies figured they'd scheduled a pushover, ...Surprise,Surprise Surprise.I hate these games where both teams is Aggies.
San Diego State 24, Oklahoma 10 - Both teams is havin' unexpected problems, but the WAC usually whups the Big 12.

I won't waste my time pickin Sul Ross at Southwestern or Hardin Simmons at Phillips. That would be too easy what with SU and Phillips flipflopped #2 and #3 in the major polls after knockin off Nebraska and Ohio State last week. TCU is guaranteed not to lose this week.

Anyone with gamblin' winnin's from my picks must pay 10% to the church!

Now the picks get tougher and I don't mean perhaps ! If you have gamblin' problem call 1-(800)-Slingin'.